Before making a business plan, create a vision for your life. (Intentional CEO principle #1)
Have you heard the old story, The Fisherman and the Businessman where a small business owner rightly realizes the absurdity of working harder and making more money simply so they can live a simple and pleasurable life when they already have this life? It might seem like a quaint folk tale, but it highlights the importance of beginning with the end in mind. Bigger might not be better if it doesn’t serve your goals.
Photo by MIDHUN GEORGE on Unsplash
Do I have what it takes to become an Intentional CEO?
Intentional CEOs know what kind of life they want. They craft their business to support that life.
So many Accidental CEOs developed their startups because they love creating or delivering a thing: an innovative new product or an irresistible service. They then get successful and find themselves running a small enterprise, with people working for them. Suddenly they’re doing all the things others don’t want to do, or can’t do at the expected level of competence.
You don’t really want to do these things either, but someone’s got to, right? Because you’ve become the Accidental CEO.
In the early stages, with a few (or no) other employees and a bootstrap operation, this sort of behavior was vital for growth. It likely also became a source of pride for you. It’s emotionally fulfilling and personally rewarding. Doing it all and doing it well is the juice that gets entrepreneurs out of bed in the morning.
As the company matures, though, this means many CEOs head up businesses they no longer love. Not to mention there are hundreds of things to worry about. Are my clients happy? Are people on my team okay? Do I need to hire or fire or have some difficult conversations? This stress bleeds into your life and saps your happiness.
Most of my clients come to me unable to imagine a day when they won’t have to work at least some of the time. A vacation is out of the question. They have to be available 24/7 to put out fires. At this stage, you are desperate to move from Accidental CEO to Intentional CEO so you can regain control over your day-to-day and set up a better future. You want your business to be something that supports your life, not the other way around.
The first step is to answer this question, one of life’s most difficult for many people:
Step 1. What do you want?
Possibility — and why it’s so hard to envision
What do you really want? More specifically, what would you want if you knew anything was possible?
Often when faced with this question, people automatically calibrate down their goal to something they know they can create. What we see as possible is something within our comfort zone. Meaning, we won’t need to change anything about ourselves, the way we relate to the world, nor how we interact with others.
However, real possibility lies outside your comfort zone.
The problem is that subconscious beliefs and fears work really hard to keep us safely within the boundaries of what we believe is achievable and safe.
The brain is funny that way. Our fears and our subconscious create these boundaries as a survival mechanism to keep us safe. So if you tell yourself, I can’t do this thing, because no one ever has ever done it, your brain believes you. If you think, I can do this thing, because so many other people have already done it, your brain believes this statement, too. In both cases, it fires up thought routines and patterns that support your belief – even for two seemingly converse ideas.
Despite the apparent contradiction, this is a beautiful thing. Our brain wants to keep us safe, remember? This also may be the core skill that got you to where you are today! The downside is that this survival mechanism keeps us from seeing outside our comfort zone. For this reason, it can be very useful – imperative, perhaps – to get supported by a coach as you work on truly understanding what you want.
A good coach guides you. They hold open the door to the unknown — which reveals everything outside of your comfort zone — and they give you a bit of time to look around. Even with their gentle support, you’ll likely feel yourself resisting. Again, that’s just your comfort zone telling you to stay put, because you couldn’t possibly achieve anything beyond its boundaries.
Remember, real possibility lies outside your comfort zone.
Even if you’re not quite ready for a live coach, you can do some exercises to take baby steps beyond your comfort zone.
Step 2. Ask yourself these questions to discover what you really want.
I’ve found that answering these questions in an “off the top of my head” mode helps me get to the core of how I’m feeling. More gut feel, less justifying and rationalization!
To begin imagining your real possibilities, ask yourself:
What do you love doing?
What do you enjoy most about your business, your work, and your life right now?
What do you dislike about your current life?
What do you want more of?
What do you want less of?
Think about something you’d like to achieve, but you think it’s impossible — or it’s possible for other people, but not for you. Name this thing.
Consider how you want to feel when you get up in the morning, as you go about your day, and then at bedtime. Is there a word that describes how you’d like to feel overall?
Before you die, what do you hope to have accomplished?
How would you like people to remember you? You may want to work through Stephen Covey’s funeral exercise to focus your answer.
Step 3. Write a letter to a friend
You should have an idea of what you want. Now imagine yourself three years in the future, when you’ve crafted your life to be just the way you want it. Could you write an email to a good friend telling them about the amazing year you just had — the year when you lived your ideal life?
Tell them:
The incredible things you did
How you felt while doing them, and afterward
Who did you impact?
Where and when did you feel successful?
Describe what a typical day looked and felt like
Once you know what you want and have created a vision for your future life it is time craft your business vision to support your life.
Step 4. Outsmart your brain to move past your comfort zone
As you’re trying to envision your new life, your brain is going to try to keep you in your comfort zone. When you run up against this defense mechanism, remember that your brain puts more stock in the present than any imagined future, especially given that we’ve all assimilated a pattern of limiting beliefs.
Resistance to creating a vision happens because we’re committing ourselves to something. One of the ways around this is to have an ongoing relationship with your vision. Do the things you’d do to nurture a friendship or romantic partnership. Revisit your vision regularly and spend time with it. Read it and imagine what it feels like to do something fun in that new world. Maybe part of your vision no longer works for you, and just like a human relationship, change is okay – even necessary. This is where coaching really helps because, again, your brain will try to resist.
To summarize, if you want to be more successful, you need a business that supports your life vision, not the other way around. Part of getting there is committing to something different, and understanding that your brain will try to throw up roadblocks. You can overcome them!
Are you an Accidental CEO desiring to be more intentional and break out of the day-to-day stress and grind? Let’s turn your hard work into intentional growth, both professional and personal. Contact me to find out how change is possible.